triangularity | Open RP post!

Sky accepted this as true, because there was no reason not to accept it. Even if she didn't exactly understand the concept herself.

"But if emotions don't have an adverse effect, why do they need to be managed. They seem fun," Sky you broke a tricorder because Tom Paris told a joke. It wasn't a very good joke, and you didn't understand it. "But I don't understand traditions, so maybe I should understand those first."

"Are we singing now? How is it different from talking?" Technically there was a rhythm to speech, it was random and not very good, but it was there. Sky considered the idea of instruments and walked over to the replicator. She looked at it for a few moments before it activated.

And made a kazoo.

"Emotions are usually good," Hadand agrees, proof that she isn't always on the same page as Tuvok. "They can have an adverse effect if they're too strong, and if people behave poorly because they put their own feelings ahead of other important things."

Hadand grins and demonstrates, a wordless series of notes. "That was singing. Sometimes it has words and sometimes it doesn't." And she watches curiously as Sky works with the replicator.

Stepping closer, she examines the kazoo. "This looks like it goes in your mouth, and you blow into it somehow. Why don't you try it and see what sounds you make."

"So too much emotion, or too much focus on emotions?" Still, she very much enjoyed feeling things. She couldn't understand being without such experiences the way Mr. Tuvok seemed to prefer things. "And if I feel too much ship's systems are adversely effected."

Sky listens in awe to the wordless noise, very pretty noise, but it doesn't have a function to her mind. Not like the hum of a calibrated warp core, or the meaning attached to the signals inside of the gel packs. Still, it is very pretty.

Sky took the kazoo, put it between her lips, and it made a noise, a meaningless one that was a different sort of pretty from Hadand's singing. Naturally it needed a tempo, so she gave it the same tempo of the noises in a functional turbolift. That is the right way to do this isn't it?

"Both, but more so the latter." And Sky's feelings have had adverse effects through no fault of her own, unlike people who choose to allow their feelings to rule them and cause harm. "No one expects you to develop the same distance from emotions that Lieutenant Tuvok has. Your feelings aren't a bad thing. We just hope that you can learn to control the effects of those emotions, so that eventually you can be happy or sad or angry without affecting any of the systems around you."

Not everything has a purpose, though Hadand's singing usually does. Her people sing their history, because their native tongue has no written language. (There are, of course, records in another language. They aren't confined only to songs they remember.) She was just hoping to explain music without prompting a cascade of further questions, hence the absence of lyrics.

The sound is such a surprising one, like no instrument Hadand has ever heard, that she can't help laughing. And then she recognizes the rhythm of the turbo lift, and that's just as surprising. She grins at Sky.

"I don't want to break anything! Except... I'm supposed to have adverse reactions on certain types of technology. Isn't that why I exist?" Sky's purpose was to cause adverse reactions in Borg technology. The systems connected to this task were not fully under control, either due to a fault or due to Sky's incomplete aging parameters. And until they could develop a way to safely correct or augment Sky's bioelectric systems there wasn't much they could do.

Sky giggles, she clearly did something right if Hadand is laughing. The lights flicker, half a glass of milk (half the glass, a full container's worth of milk) appears in the replicator, and Sky realizes she shouldn't giggle without thinking about her abilities. The rest of the ship is protected from her, but her quarters are at her whims in such ways.

"I still don't understand, they are very nice noises, but what functions can they serve?"

"Ideally," Hadand says, "you would have conscious control over the effects you have on technology, rather than causing malfunctions spontaneously anytime you feel something strongly. I don't think anyone intends for you to completely eliminate that part of who and what you are. But you can have other purposes, ones that you choose for yourself. I had to find a new one, when I left my own world and everything that had been planned for me."

She takes a nearby towel and sops up the milk spilled at the replicator, offering Sky the much shorter than usual glass. "Here, drink this."

"Music doesn't have to serve a purpose. My people's songs had words and were used to tell stories from our history. But music is also just for enjoying. If you like it, that's all it needs to do."

"But how would I choose a different purpose? I am very good at the one I was designed with. I do not know what else I have an equal skill for," Sky was very young, younger than she looked, and this was a moment where it showed more clearly. She wanted to be the best version of herself she could be. And to that end she had to pick the right thing to be. She was not a very good anti-borg weapon, as she did not have enough control over her natural abilities.

Sky took the glass and drank it without question. The replicator made it without Sky tripping any of the security safeguards. Clearly it was safe to drink. She checked, all the security systems were still intact. She ran a diagnostic to be sure.

"So things can serve a very simple purpose... like minor temperature adjustements without having to access the room's environmental controls?" She means the blankets.

"I've been wondering that too," Hadand says softly, not having expected to find this particular common ground with Sky. It makes sense, though, with both of them coming aboard and suddenly thrust into an entirely new situation. "I was trained for fighting and for being queen someday, but now that I've left my planet, I'll never be one. I think that being security officer on Voyager is my purpose for now, and later I'll probably add more, like raising a family, or finding a new place to call home if the ship's crew ever part's ways."

She reached out to rest a hand on Sky's shoulder, giving a light and hopefully reassuring squeeze. "As we try new things, pay attention to what you enjoy. What you're interested in, what you want to learn more about. We'll work from there, and you can talk to me or the other crew members about it. I think that we both have a choice here, on Voyager, that neither of us would have had before."

Her brow furrows in confusion for a moment at the talk of temperature adjustments, but then it smooths again as she realizes what Sky must mean. "Some people's purposes seem much bigger or more complicated than others', but the important thing, at least for me, is to have one. A real one, one that I can feel strongly about."

Sky crossed her arms and considered all the words Hadand had used in her explanation of what she wasn't, what she should be, and what she was now. Finally deciding on which word was the most important to ask about, "What's a family?"

"So... I don't have to pick now?" Sky had a skewed sense of time, and a skewed sense of everything really. But it seemed reasonable, trying things and deciding. She had to be allowed out of her room, but figuring out that would be first. Maybe she can work on the problem of her systems interfering with the ship's sensors so they can get a better understanding of how she works, to fix her. "How will I know what I like? I seem to like everything."

Sky that is not a problem most people face.

"A family," says Hadand very quietly, thinking of her mother and Aunt Ndara, Inda and Tanrid, Evred and Kialen and Tdor and Joret... Not all of them are blood relations, but they were always an integral part of Hadand's life and her purpose. She decides that for all of her loyalty to blood relations like her father, for all of the times she's focused on her ties and duties to people in spite of their flaws, there's only one definition she wants to give Sky.

"A family is people who care about you. People you love. People who are loyal to you, and who earn your trust in return. People you can rely on. I had one on my own planet, but I'll never see them again. It's important to me to have a family, though. I'm finding a new one here on Voyager."

She'll circle back to that other question eventually.

Several of the concepts she understood. As a weapon the definitions were pertinent. Loyalty, trust, rely, care. She had a few bits of Borg terminology in her mind, to know her enemy. And words she learned from Tuvok and Tom. "Do they stop being your family when you exceed a certain proximity?"

"What's love?" That was a word she had heard before, but in multiple contexts. It got very confusing. Tom said it a lot. But it was always in setting where it would be inappropriate for Sky to ask what it meant, as he was talking to somebody else.

"They don't stop being family, but they stop being able to support me or communicate with me or let me help and protect them. I need people in my daily life to fill that role. People who are with me." That's what bothered her most when she first came aboard, Hadand thinks. She was lonely and purposeless. Hadand isn't a solitary person. Having people to care about and protect is incredibly important to her.

"Love is a feeling." And it's one that's hard to define or describe. She knows that words won't be adequate, but Hadand will do her best. "It's a very strong positive sentiment about the most important people in your life. When I love someone, I can't help but smile more when they're with me. I value their well-being above my own. There are very few lengths I wouldn't go to make them happy and protect them. I like to demonstrate love physically, with hugs and kisses, but some people don't. The way you feel is the important part."

"So a family is like a maintenance crew? They are important but only if they are close enough to provide support?" Sky that is not a good metaphor, you don't know what metaphor means. Stop that.

"So my well being is of less value than most people, I love them?" Sky was a weapon, she was meant to be of value, and her value ended with the lives of those around her. Certainly the efforts went into protecting her meant she was loved by the scientists that died. But the concept still seemed incomplete. "But... if your feelings are shared, wouldn't they also put your well being before theirs?"

Hadand shakes her head. "My family will never stop being important to me. Not when I'm on the opposite side of the galaxy, not when I know I'll never see or speak to them again. They're so important to me that my life feels empty without them unless I let my family grow. I need to find other people to love and share my life with, or I'll be sad and lonely for the rest of it."

And if that first comparison made her miss home, the second nearly breaks her heart. "Your well-being is no less important than that of any other person on board. Captain Janeway doesn't believe in sacrificing anyone, you included, whatever the reasons were for your creation. And this crew is a lot like a family already. They've gone through a lot together." Before Hadand joined them, and after.

"If I love someone, I try to keep them safe, and if they return my feelings, they do the same. We take care of each other."

She considered the idea in terms she could understand. Information was valuable, it continued to be valuable even if the exact parameters no longer applied. And you constantly needed to find more or else you would lag behind and suffer for the loss. Sky would feel empty without it, "So family is important in the same way energy consumption is? It is a need?"

"But if that is the case, when a situation requires someone to take on the greater risk, who does it?" Sacrifice was a part of any dangerous endeavor, and the idea of trying to minimize damage was one thing. But how do you decide who takes the greater risk if everyone is attempting to protect everyone else. No one person becomes the obvious choice.

"On this crew, we're pretty stubborn. We don't want to sacrifice anyone, and we'll fight against impossible odds to keep from doing it. Captain Janeway even moreso than the rest of the crew. But Voyager has come through some really awful things intact, so I think the strategy is working." Stubbornness is not so much a strategy as a lack thereof, but it pushes them to come up with some innovative and, frankly, crazy ideas. So far, those ideas have worked.

Fortunately, Hadand is every bit as stubborn as the rest of the crew. She fits in nicely.

"That goes for you too, now. No sacrificing members of our crew, not even the new ones."

"But the math does not work. Why would you take a path with the highest chance of failure and the greatest risk of assets?" You are attempting to explain stubbornness in the face of danger to a weapon designed to face a swarm of angry robotic bee people. She understands Borg practicality to counteract it. To force their losses to be the greatest possible.

"If I am the most logical choice, and the probabilities are in my favor, I shouldn't put myself in jeopardy of being lost? Even if the alternative is everyone? Wouldn't I be sacrificing everyone for myself?"

Hadand has always been good at equations of cold practicality. She was willing to marry her brother's murderer because she had no proof and held her kingdom and her duty as more important than herself.

"I don't think there are many people on board who wouldn't sacrifice themselves for the sake of the rest of the crew. But it isn't fair to anyone to make that choice too soon."

Sky is far more grounded in logic than any other child Hadand has known, and she thinks helplessly that perhaps she's making a mess of this and Tuvok would handle it better. But no. Sky should learn to understand emotion as well as logic, and to make choices based on both. She forges ahead. "I think that it's possible to get too caught up in probabilities, and to underestimate your own importance to the people around you. Yes, sacrificing someone is sometimes absolutely unavoidable. But don't give up until all avenues of creative thinking have been exhausted. It's likely that we won't always agree on what odds are worth facint. That happens."

"How does time change the probabilities of success?" Sky is the most expressive compassionless construct in the cosmos. She can't see how being more attached changes the cold hard practicals of the situation.

The mistake is looking at Sky and seeing a child, she acts like one, is innocent like one. But she never grew up, never evolved that way, "What other way is there to decide on actions? If I cannot rely on statistical analysis, and have to be 'creative.'" Sky's not sure on the meaning of the word. She knows what create means, but she doesn't understand the concept of creativity separate from that.

Evred, fortunately, gave Hadand some preparation. He was extremely precocious. Hadand taught him to read at two and then had to spend her nights up late reading to keep up with all of his questions. And her own life gave plenty of preparation for the idea of sacrifice.

"Time gives us the chance to think of other ways out of the situation. Sometimes not all of the options are immediately apparent, or another may present itself. I'm a Marlovan, and we grow up believing in duty and sacrifice. That doesn't mean I want to see anyone taking drastic and irreversible measures until it's been proven absolutely necessary."

"They aren't?" Sky was very clever, so the idea that there were more ideas, cleverer ideas, out of her reach was very interesting. She supposed that if the problem were complicated enough it would take her more time to do all the calculations too. There were a lot of factors. Huh.

You learn something new.

"So it is okay to postpone choice provided your reasoning is to allow the most options to be found? But what if the situation is more immediate. Like..." she quickly searched a handful of personal logs she could access from a data storage pack inside the barriers separating Sky from the rest of the ship. "Harry Kim is about to take the last slice of pizza and you wanted it for yourself?"

Sky surprises a laugh out of Hadand with that example. It's far from life or death, but assuming it was... "If it would threaten lives for Harry to eat the last slice of pizza, I would stop him by any means. Words, weapons, other non-lethal measures. Otherwise, I would ask for half, or set aside my own wants."

She's always been good at that. Setting aside what she wants for the good of people she cares about. Hadand has been doing less of it, here on Voyager than she did at home, but it's still a bone-deep part of her.

"So I can use a low powered phaser blast?" She wants to be sure, because that would prevent Harry Kim from having the last slice of pizza. It is a practical and direct way to prevent him from having it. The fact that the question is completely earnest would be a problem, to anyone that forgets Sky is a weapon and not actually a normal little girl.

"Or I could just threaten him with the phaser. That is less wasted energy."

Hadand never forgets when she's dealing with a weapon, regardless of what sort. She just sets that fact aside with Sky whenever it's irrelevant. Now, she chooses her words carefully. "If, as we assumed for the purpose of this example a moment ago, Harry eating the last slice of pizza would threaten lives, stunning or threatening him with a phaser would be reasonable. The circumstances in which pizza is life or death are so rare that I can't think of any right now, unless the pizza were poisoned, in which case I would not want it for myself any more than I would want Harry to eat it."

Sky pauses to consider the words, and then to delve into more personal logs. "Mr. Paris makes it sound like a slice of pizza is of immeasurable value." Sky stop reading Tom Paris's personal logs. They are a bad source of information and are seriously derailing this conversation.

"So... the goal is to allow for the most time to create the most possible plans. To find the plan that causes the least threat to all members of the crew. And not to eat poison pizza." Sky is a weapon of devastating power and she has trouble dividing the lessons of a conversation correctly. Admittedly most weapons don't talk about morality or pizza. So this is new ground for everyone.

Re: You thought you'd seen the last of me, but I was biding my time. Mwahahahaha

deheldegarthe - 2017-12-19 16:53 (UTC) - Expand

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You thought you'd seen the last of me, but I was biding my time. Mwahahahaha

Re: You thought you'd seen the last of me, but I was biding my time. Mwahahahaha