AUs of our AUs: A timeline diverges, and a would-be queen leaves her kingdom behind.

[deheldegarthe]

Hadand knew he was here. She waited in the throne room, dressed in her family's green rather than the royal crimson, a black sash at her waist. Cama stood by in Shield Arm position, having had both the faith in Hadand and Evred and the air of authority necessary to take over the Guard and back Hadand's orders. When Evred finally reached the throne room, his arrival heralded as much by the people's gasps and murmurs as by any formal announcement, she saluted, fist to heart.

Everything blurred together after that. Evred got her alone at first opportunity, taking Hadand by the hands once they were safely shut into the royal nursery where they had grown up together. "You held the kingdom. There's nothing greater anyone could ask."

It struck her suddenly, how tall and straight he'd grown. Only his expressions distinguished him from his late father. There were new lines around his eyes since last she'd seen him. Even at twenty, he was old enough and wise enough that Hadand could easily trust him with a kingdom. She would trust Evred with anything, herself included. He could never care for her romantically, of course, and she stamped out any faint tendrils of attraction before they could take root and grow strong.

"Sponge--" she started, cutting herself off at use of the childhood nickname. "Evred, I know you have far more than your share of worries right now, but could I ask you to take on one more?" At his nod of assent, an unspoken 'of course' implied in the look that accompanied it, she continued. "There are whispers in the palace. Eyes follow me, and people stop speaking when I enter a room. I've no wish to burden you, but things changed after my father went home to Choread Elgaer. I fear it may mean more trouble coming."

He squeezed her hands briefly before releasing them. "Hadand," and he paused here to consider his words, "you know that I trust you completely, and know you too well to believe any testimony against you." The one bit of broken trust between them had been long-since forgiven, though never forgotten. Evred loved her like a sister. He had always trusted and looked up to her, in a way he never had his own sibling.

"That means there is false testimony," Hadand concluded, as he'd known she would. "Lies to further muddy the waters, as if things weren't bad enough. What do they say?"

Evred's mouth twisted. "You were implicated in my brother's assassination." At her look of outrage, he continued, "I doubt they can get you executed for it, but they will almost certainly have you imprisoned in the numbers they are amassing to back their story.

"Hadand, I want you to go. Like Inda." He never mentioned Inda aloud anymore, but Hadand knew her youngest brother was always in Evred's thoughts. The name alone was proof of his seriousness. "I want you out of reach of this, and there will be no honorable return to Iasca Leror. It is all I can do for you. You deserve to be Hadand-Gunvaer, and hailed as Deheldegarthe by the people. You earned that place. You defended the throne with your own two hands, and I had thought to ask..."

He trails off momentarily, before shaking his head. "Go to Lindeth Harbor. Sail on the ship with least ties to home."

Hadand had remained stoic throughout the speech, but that last word, home, broke her facade. Evred could see how lost she felt now, rather than just surmising it. She knew nothing of space travel. When Barend came home to speak of his time aboard ships, it sounded like nonsense to her. And Iasca Leror was, of course, her home. Hadand could recall no time when she had not known that she would be its queen one day. Her life was here. Her family, what little of it remained to her, was here.

Her family.

With Hadand gone, that would leave not a single one of her parents' children alive and within the kingdom. Her mother would be left with the two girls she'd raised to wed the two sons now lost to her, and not even any letters from a daughter in the royal city as consolation.

That was unacceptable. "If I go," she said quietly, "I need a promise from you. As my friend, my family, and my king."

"Anything," he promised, "if it is within my power to do."

Hadand breathed deep before she spoke again, chin jutting out stubbornly. "Bring my brother home. Swear it to me, and swear it to my mother. Write to my mother from time to time. Tell her I escaped safely. Pass along my love, if you can manage it." She reached out, very lightly touching Evred's arm. Her voice was very soft. "Inda's situation was nothing like mine. He refused a whipping after contrived boyhood dishonor, not because he was afraid but because he did not deserve it. Find a way to set it aside. The revelation of your uncle's other treachery should help. Find Inda, and set things right."

He said he would, and so, she left.

As luck would have it, Hadand found the most foreign ship of all, one whose ties were in an entirely different part of the galaxy. Hadand pled her case with Captain Janeway of the Voyager and was allowed aboard. It pained her to leave Iasca Leror and know that there would truly be no return, but at least now there can be no second guessing.

Hadand can never go home.

She tries to settle into her new life aboard ship, the greenest of new recruits but willing to learn. Hadand cautiously works her way into the crew trying to find a place and a purpose after losing the only ones she'd known.

Comments

[deheldegarthe]

Her hum of approval into that kiss shifts to a reluctant groan as Chakotay pulls away. She slowly stretches her arms and back, stiff more from her spar with her brother the previous day than anything she did with Chakotay.

"There's no use in postponing lectures," she agrees, sighing. "That only makes them worse."

At least his offer cheers her up.

Hadand laughs, low and suggestive. "If? Chakotay, I can't think of a time when my answer would be no. Of course I'd like that. I enjoyed last night very much." Not that he'd have cause to doubt that, given her enthusiasm at the time. She punctuates this assurance with a lingering kiss to his lips, which she's well aware does nothing for making either of them more willing to get out of bed. She just can't help herself, not without far more restraint than she wants to exercise with Chakotay. She'll summon some up in a moment.

[chakotay]

Chakotay grunts his agreement. Postponing lectures always makes them worse, especially on this ship where the Doctor and the Captain are concerned. It's better to just take the lectures now so that they don't include a clause about broken trust and setting a better example.

At her laugh and subsequent words, he manages a smile in return. "Good. Then... we can see how things go each night and decide then whose quarters we end up in." That sounds perfect to him and his enthusiasm in that last kiss should show more than enough. Afterwards, he gently pushes her hair back from her eyes, his own lovingly gazing at her, drinking her in one last time before they have to leave.

"You are welcome in my quarters at any time, Hadand, and I trust you in here even when I am not. But if we decide to spend time away and you need me, you're always welcome to come find me."

He doesn't think he'll want to let her go, especially at night now, but sometimes he just has to add things in.

[deheldegarthe]

"That does sound good," Hadand agrees, smiling up at Chakotay. It will leave them both their own space as they settle into this relationship, but still give them as much time together as their schedules allow. Then she falls silent as he brushes her hair away from her face. She's rarely tongue-tied, but the way he's looking at her brings a light blush to her cheeks. There's just so much love and affection in it. Hadand never expected anyone to look at her the way Chakotay does. It's still so new that it almost hurts, being this happy.

It takes a moment to find her words, but she does add eventually, "I don't intend to keep any secrets from you. You can come to my quarters anytime, and I'll always be available if you need me."

She sits up, trailing her fingertips down his arm to take his hand again. "Would you rather visit the shower together or separately?" They do have time to clean up, though they probably shouldn't let themselves get too distracted in the meantime. She misses baths, though. Sonic showers just aren't the same.

[chakotay]

Chakotay finds everything about Hadand to have beauty. Her smile, her face, her laugh, her tone. Everything she shows and everything she is shines the beauty within her and makes it easier and easier for him to love her deeply. With each passing moment together, he finds that his love for her grows deeper and deeper still. And he would have it no other way.

"Together would be faster," he suggests, well aware that it could also be slower. They should have a large enough sense of responsibility between them that they don't get too distracted so they won't be late in getting down to sickbay. He gives her one last kiss before shifting to tug them both out of bed. Time to get this over with.

[deheldegarthe]

Hadand laughs at his answer, delighted by just how well she and Chakotay fit together. Everything has felt right since the moment that she kissed him. Even the small moments of miscommunication or difficult subjects have resolved quickly. There will doubtless be more of those, but the few they've weathered so far bode well.

With an appreciative glance down his body as he stands, she teases, "I suspect it may take at least as long."

It does, but not so long that they miss their opportunity to make it to sickbay before Chakotay's shift begins.

She's still in such a good mood that the Doctor's lecture is met with barely concealed good humor. Hadand is aware now that they should have been more responsible, but they already know that no medical complications arose. She can manage to seem suitably and militarily contrite, at least.

It isn't until they have to deal with Captain Janeway that she sobers completely. She meets the captain's eyes for as much of it as she can, fighting the urge to spend the entirety of the encounter watching Chakotay. Hadand respects the captain. She doesn't want Captain Janeway to think poorly of her, and she's always avoided breaking any regulation when she could possibly be caught out. Even then, only for very good reason. This reprimand is a first, and it's deeply uncomfortable.

For Chakotay, though, she knows it's much worse. He has so many emotional ties to the captain, and this can't be easy for him. She has more sympathy for him than she has guilt, and when they get the chance to talk later, she'll very much want to check on him and make sure he's alright.

[chakotay]

Chakotay would gladly sit through a thousand lectures from the Doctor before one reprimand from Kathryn. Sitting through this one is extremely awkward for him, considering his feelings towards her. The only good part about this is that they had never been anything other than friends, a captain and her first officer. She had known his feelings towards her, but nothing had happened. Otherwise, he has a feeling this would be worse.

As it is, he takes it solidly, standing straight and accepting what he knows he's earned. But even with this reprimand, he doesn't regret what he and Hadand have. They can weather this and things on this ship between the command team will go right back to the way they were.

As evidenced by the slight tilt and curve of Kathryn's lips as she walks nearer to them, on her way out of her ready room so she can retake her place on the bridge. Pausing just in front of them, she leans in, eyes just barely sparkling with that familiar mischief Chakotay loves so much about her, and murmurs, "At least no one started glowing and sparked an internal war with the other species this time. No harm, no foul, right?"

And then she leaves. It's a glimpse of the Kathryn Chakotay loves, the teasing personality underneath the Captain's persona, and it makes him relax more than anything else could. Managing a smile at Hadand as he turns to follow Kathryn, he thinks that this whole thing could have gone a lot worse.

His shift isn't too hard today, more of the same, and when he finally finds himself off duty, he makes his way to Hadand's quarters, wanting to check on her and see how her day went. Also to make sure that she doesn't have any lingering effects from the lecture and reprimand combination this morning. So he presses the chime at her door and waits to see if she's in.

[deheldegarthe]

The joke from Captain Janeway comes as a relief, as does the smile from Chakotay afterwards. Even so, she has to fill up her entire day or she'll worry about him. She spends some of it with Tuvok, working, some of it editing the holodeck program B'Elanna has been helping her with, and just now? Her floor is cleared, and she's been doing whatever fighting drills she can in limited space. The door opens on Hadand sheathing her knives, a few curls escaped from the crown of braids around her head.

Just in case there was any doubt as to her feelings, the immediate smile on her face when she sees who's at her door is involuntary. She doesn't think she could keep from smiling at him if she tried.

"Chakotay." She goes to the door to greet him, standing as tall as she can and pulling him down for a kiss unless he resists. Somehow, she doubts he will. "I was hoping you'd come when your shift ended. Are you alright? I know this morning was anything but easy for you."

[chakotay]

Likewise, Chakotay's face breaks into a warm smile at the sight of Hadand as he steps into her quarters. No doubts remain between them regarding their feelings for each other and he would not have it any other way. In fact, he happily takes and returns her kiss, giving her everything that she gives him.

"It was difficult," he admits, deciding against making light of the experience, "but it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever had to go through."

Seska takes that title easily.

"I think the captain understands. Most of that was a formality. And, like she said, no one started glowing and I didn't spark an internal war between your people." His lips curl upwards slightly. That actually did happen and he fully expects to have to explain that one sometime. "How are you feeling about it all?"

[deheldegarthe]

She slips her hand into his, squeezing lightly. It had better not be the worst he'd been through. If she ever caused Chakotay that much pain, she would never forgive herself.

"About you, and this? Wonderful. Tdor talks about how there are some days when you feel so happy that it spills over, as if you can't hold any more. That's how you make me feel." But that wasn't his question, and she knows it. Hadand sighs.

She tells him honestly, "It's been a very long time since I last disappointed someone I respected, and then, I was also worried about whether you were alright. I'm not fond of either of those feelings. It isn't anything I can't cope with, of course."

Hadand doesn't need concern or looking after right now, even if she appreciates that he wants to confirm her well-being just as much as she did his.

[chakotay]

Chakotay is just glad for Hadand's honesty. He won't keep pressing her for more, knowing that neither of them will really appreciate that in the long run. Still, he is glad to hear that she is well and the whole thing hasn't adversely affected her.

"Kathryn will get over it soon," he assures them both. "We only embarrassed ourselves and didn't display it to the entire crew. I can think of worse things we could have done." He grins impishly as he squeezes her hand and then leans over to kiss her briefly.

"Did you have any plans for the evening?" he asks next, his thumb gently brushing across the back of her hand.

[deheldegarthe]

Chakotay knows Captain Janeway far better than Hadand does, so she'll take his word for that. "You and she have both referenced stories that have me curious," she informs him. Their worst case scenarios involved bioluminescence and wars, after all.

She's distracted quickly enough by that absolutely charming grin and the question that follows it. Hadand's face lights up, and her smile is full of mischief and promises when she replies, "I didn't, but I can think of any number of appealing possibilities now that you're here."

Raising Chakotay's hand, she kisses the inside of his wrist, then grazes her teeth over his skin very lightly. "I don't have specific plans for tonight, but would you join me on the holodeck one day next week? B'Elanna and I have been working on something that I never intended... to ask you to join me in. Given our relationship now, I'd like it very much if you did. I can reserve the deck."

A luxury she couldn't have managed at home, where the area they've programmed would be public rather than able to be reserved for two people in particular..

[chakotay]

Chakotay can't help but laugh at Hadand's response. He may not have expected it, but he supposes he should have. "Morning, afternoon, and evening? Hungry, aren't you?" he teases back, echoing her smile with a tight-lipped smirk of his own.

His question is answered with her next movement and his breath catches lightly before he can respond. "I would love to. Now that you have me curious. I don't suppose I could ask for a preview?" Any time spent with her is good time as far as he is concerned. If this is something she had never intended to ask him to share with her before, well, how could he turn it down?

[deheldegarthe]

Hadand grins. That smirk says he doesn't mind at all, and she's listening to the evidence of her eyes rather than the words themselves. "Greedy, I know. Of course I would never want to ask for anything you're unwilling to give..." but if he's interested, she almost certainly will be.

That hitch in his breath has her catching hers. With how much she cares for Chakotay, any evidence of his pleasure is just as fulfilling as her own. After half a second's silence where she just watches him, Hadand laughs. "I could tell you, but why spoil the surprise? You'll like it, I promise. My favorite part of the palace, and the one I've missed most aside from the nursery where I grew up. Even then, I think I was missing the people rather than the nursery itself."

But he's asking her to satisfy his curiosity without returning the favor. "Does this mean you'll make me wait for answers to my questions until I answer yours?" There's obviously teasing in her voice, no grudges held or competition or ultimatums. She's curious, not pushy.

[chakotay]

Chakotay just chuckles, offering her a smirk in response. He is quite the opposite of unwilling. If he truly does not want something, she will be the first to know. With the turn of their relationship, he can't quite think of anything else he would want more than any kind of time spent with her.

"Then I guess I'll just have to trust you," he muses, turning their hands over so he can kiss the back of hers in retaliation. "And it's only fair that I return the favor, even though I would have thought my answer obvious." Given the smirk still in place, he is obviously teasing. "I would be happy to accompany you anywhere, even if it is a full surprise."

[deheldegarthe]

That kiss pulls a soft, contented sigh from her. Her new relationship with Chakotay is still sinking in, but it's already so comfortable. "I'll look forward to it, then."

Hadand steps closer, wrapping her free arm around Chakotay's waist. She grins up at him. "Now, what were all those stories you and Captain Janeway referenced?"

[chakotay]

Chakotay manages a rueful laugh at her question. Of course she would ask about all of those references. Why wouldn't she? After all, Kathryn had opened that door wide and Hadand is nothing if not curious.

"Ah, well, the one Kathryn referenced during our little lecture would be the story of Ensign Kim's relationship with the Varro woman," he begins, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. "They didn't go through the correct protocols, either, but it turns out that the Varro attach very deeply to their partners. There were a few instances of glowing skin and the Varro leader was afraid the woman would die. Luckily, nothing too adverse happened to either, though she remained with her people and Kim is still with us."

It could have been a lot worse. His lips quirk upwards with amusement.

"Are you disappointed that neither of us started glowing?"

[deheldegarthe]

She may not have been on board long, but somehow Hadand isn't at all surprised by who got into trouble in that anecdote. She's sober enough during the more serious aspects of the story, the potentially lethal effects... but then Chakotay starts joking with her.

Hadand laughs softly. "Of course not! I can do without serving as a living lamp. It would make getting to sleep at night so much more difficult." Ignoring the life-threatening complications, at least out loud. It had never occurred to Hadand that anything like that could have come from sex with Chakotay.

"And I am glad Harry is still with us. He usually takes pity on me eventually when Tom invents new human customs to alternate with his explanations of real ones." Her time on the Voyager would be more confusing and probably embarrassing if Tom were left to his own devices.

[chakotay]

Chakotay's smile of amusement broadens into a grin as Hadand speaks and he even manages a laugh from it. The idea of being a living lamp is a bit ridiculous, but he has seen some ridiculous things out here in the Delta Quadrant. He would not have been surprised if he had somehow grown wings from his night with Hadand.

"Is Paris giving you a hard time?" he jokes, though a note of concern lies underneath his tone. Harry is a good person to have around to curb some of Paris' more... eccentric qualities. The Harry Kim: Bullshit Meter^TM is the best accessory for dealing with Tom Paris. "Just don't get him started on things like Captain Proton."

[deheldegarthe]

She recognizes that concern. While she appreciates it, it's also so unfamiliar as to be almost uncomfortable. Hadand squares her shoulders and leans back enough to meet Chakotay's eyes. "Sometimes, but I don't mind. There's nothing malicious in Tom. If there were, I would handle the matter myself."

Years of bearing other people's expectations haven't fostered much willingness to ask for help. Hadand is stubbornly self-sufficient because she always needed to be, and she copes with whatever she faces. The fact that Chakotay offers more than she's used to in every respect, not just romantically, will take some adjustment. She'll probably always insist on handling her own problems unless she's already tried and failed.

"Besides, how much trouble could Tom get me into, when a single look at Harry's face is nearly always enough to give away his stings?" Sting is Marlovan slang for pranks and practical jokes, so commonplace that Hadand doesn't stop to think about whether she's used the term before with Chakotay, or whether it might need explanation.

[chakotay]

Chakotay's smile warms and he leans over to gently press a kiss to Hadand's temple. He never doubted her; protection and loyalty are just the presiding traits of his character. "I keep forgetting how capable you are," he murmurs gently. He's used to a different sort, after all. Kathryn is somewhat similar, but she would brush off his offers with a joke or an unamused snap, depending on the situation and her mood. Hadand simply points out his assumption and her reality, something Chakotay can appreciate.

Her question makes him laugh lightly before he tilts his head a little but. He can guess at what she means, he thinks, but this sounds like something he will want clarification with. "Stings?"

[deheldegarthe]

"I was never allowed to forget how capable I needed to be," she admits wryly, though she can't help the soft smile that spreads across her face at that kiss. It's just the way she was brought up. She had very few actual responsibilities, but she had the promise of them. Even the promise of the kingdom resting on her shoulders was heavy as an eight year old girl being pushed to shoot more accurately.

"Stings are... jokes, but more often through actions rather than words. Like little boys putting eggs in the shoes of all the guards and then making sure an alarm is sounded. Or putting something in the food that dyes everyone's teeth green temporarily. Tom sticks with words, though I'll be in trouble if I act on the wrong ones." Nothing dangerous, just very embarrassing.

[chakotay]

"You would have fit in well with the Klingons," Chakotay observes, not for the first time, as he kisses the tip of her nose this time. "And that's why you're doing so well with us here." There are many reasons why Hadand is working so well aboard Voyager and her capable nature is definitely one of them.

"So would what Paris does be more like barbs?" he asks jokingly. Ensign Kim will undoubtedly prevent any terrible mishaps and if not, Chakotay will have them both up for the most unpleasant duty on the ship for a full week as a deterrent for future transgressions.

[deheldegarthe]

Hadand freezes in momentary surprise at the kiss on her nose, then laughs. No one has ever done that, in part because no one has ever loved her like this, but mostly because her rank drew a boundary between her and the people around her. It probably seemed beneath a future queen's dignity to kiss her on the nose. She slides a hand behind Chakotay's neck and pulls him back down for a proper kiss, smiling against his lips at the thought that those boundaries have broken down entirely.

"I fit in better since you spoke to Lieutenant Tuvok on my behalf. And all the time you've spent with me helped." She's grateful the Voyager is the sort of ship that expects everyone to contribute according to their own strengths. Hadand wouldn't know what to do with herself otherwise.

Grinning, she counters, "Pinpricks, maybe. No real harm in them."

[chakotay]

Hadand's reaction to the kiss to her nose is so endearing that Chakotay can't help laughing at it. She really is the light to his life now and he doesn't ever want to think of a life without her. So he doesn't. Instead, he takes the kiss warmly and happily before pulling back to do something else she probably hasn't had much of: nuzzling his nose against hers.

Who knew he was such a secret softy?

"Good. Wouldn't want them to actually hurt." And he's glad that she fits in better now, glad that the crew seems to be giving her a fair shake. That's all he can ask right now. "Now that that's out of the way, we should think about what we want to do for dinner. And the rest of the evening."

[deheldegarthe]

Hadand huffs a soft breath that isn't quite a laugh, standing on tiptoe and kissing Chakotay on the cheek. "I have a few ideas for the rest of the night," she assures him, grinning, "but first we should decide whether to eat here or face all of the gossips. We'll need to do that eventually."

If Chakotay wants to wait a little longer, postponing that until the two of them have had a little more time to settle into the new relationship between them, she won't fault him for it. Hadand is sure that gossip has already spread through the ship like a brushfire, of course. It's just a matter of publicly displaying their feelings in front of the rest of the crew. Both she and Chakotay are clearly affectionate enough that it will be obvious to anyone with eyes. She expects plenty of good-natured teasing the next time the two of them share a meal in the mess hall.

Squeezing his hand, Hadand smiles reassuringly. She would be happy with another night to themselves or one shared with friends. Whatever Chakotay chooses, his company is already exactly what she was hoping for.